transformation

the trees in my parent's backyard

The snow has finally stopped falling outside my window.  This is the first time since I arrived that flakes are not swiftly twisting and twirling their way down to join their friends.  As I sit and look out the window, it occurs to me that we spend our entire lives searching for comfort and certainty and the events of life spend eternity creating uncertainty and distress.  

I have finished Don's latest book and there are so many life lessons packed into the short 250 pages of text, that I am left dumbfounded and without words to write.  What I know is this period of time where conflict seems to be dominating my life, is is just one chapter in my story.  "Every conflict, no matter how hard, comes back to bless the protagonist if he will face his fate with courage".  And though this period of time in my life hurts like hell now, I know it has the capacity to transform my life, if I chose to face it with courage.  But it is so much easier to search for the easier route, or worse, give up entirely.

"The point of a story is never about the ending, remember.  It's about your character getting molded in the hard work of the middle..."  This is an encouraging phrase when you're near the end, but when you're smack dab in the middle and the end is nowhere in sight, it can be dismal at best.  Its as if you are paddling across a lake... a big lake, like Flathead.  Where the shorelines extend 30+ miles in either direction.  You paddle out and the shore becomes smaller until you no longer can see it.  Now, you're sitting in the middle of the lake and neither shore is within sight.  And its dark.  And its cold and your clothes are soaking wet.  And that is the moment where you have to make a choice.  You can keep paddling and have faith the shore will be on the other side.  Or, you can give up and sink to the bottom of the lake.

I am in the middle of the lake.  I realistically know the shore is on the other side, but do not know if I have enough faith to paddle across.  Dont know if I have enough strength to make it to the shore.  Dont know if I trust my boat to get me there even if I have the strength to paddle the distance.  In the book, Don and some friends climb the Andes Mountains in Peru to see the city of Machu Picchu.  You can take a bus to the beautiful ancient city or you can spend days climbing and summiting mountains to get there.  Don says, "the more painful the journey to Machu Picchu, the more the traveler will appreciate the city, once he got there".  And that, I can appreciate.

I am at that point where I do not necessarily know what I am searching for, but I can be sure my character is undergoing a transformation I could not have predicted.  Our bodies were designed to change, grow and expand and resisting that change would be unnatural.  So, here's to growth and change, faith and trust, and believing that each conflict creates a better story to be lived.