Every day heroes

Today, I had a chance to meet several heroes.  


Three gentlemen came to my neurology class today to talk about their experience.  Their experience with daily challenges, relationship struggles, expectations of themselves and perspective on life and the people around them.  One of these gentlemen described how a foundation had been laid and it was up to him to learn how to build upon that foundation.  Another young man spoke of his ability to water ski, mountain bike and go to concerts.  The other, spoke about a brotherhood and family that had been formed through a common desire to serve people as a fireman.  
Did I mention that these men have all suffered life altering spinal cord injuries that have them paralyzed from the trunk down?  Did I mention that one of these gentlemen was 22 and just graduated from college?  The stories of these men's lives have changed the way I view my own.  It has changed the way I will act as a therapist.  Their message was simple: value life, each and every moment.  


I believe that heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences

This afternoon, I met a man who's name has escaped me.  This man has a life altering condition because of a call to duty he accepted.  He was a solider in the Vietnam war and was exposed to "agent orange" which is believed to have links to causing diabetes (among other horrific physical altercations).  Long story short, he now is living with a below the knee amputation and learning to walk again.  This man is a hero.  Some days its hard to remember that our country is at war.  I am not a huge political person, but when I think about the heroes who are risking their lives to protect me... it stops me in my tracks. This man, risked his life nearly 40 years ago and is living with the consequences.  Just like many others, he answered the call to serve.  

Today has been one of those days where I can clearly see how small my problems are compared to the time and energy that is put into solving/fixing them.  Its hard to step back and appreciate the little things when life is flying at you from twenty different directions.  But what if one day, everything just stopped?  And the things that were extremely important, no longer mattered?  And the things that defined who you are, were no longer available?  

Do we truly life our lives by doing what has to be done despite the consequences?  

Friends

A beautiful day with girls I love

The interesting thing about my life is that I have always lived some distance from those whom I love the most.  Ever since moving to Portland after high school, I have been constantly moving away from people who have impacted my life in ways I could have never predicted.  Though all of the times I have moved have also signified necessary life stages and changes, it also meant leaving a place of comfort and love.  This blog is simple... a message of how thankful I am for my friendships.  Near. Far. And in between.  It is no secret that I am not the best communicator from a distance, but that does not mean I miss or love people any less.  I have truly been blessed by the sheer number of people in my life that have come, stayed a while and even those whom have left.  My life is better because of those relationships.

I believe that true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. Same goes for true love.


Here are just a few pictures of those who have been on my mind lately.  The memories with these people will forever outlast the physical distance that now separates us.  

My amazing and supportive family

Adore you, Ms Raynelle 

She's my lobster!  I love this girl

Little Carebare making it on her own in DC

Soul-mates for life

Triplets 

My oh so amazing and wonderful sister in law

A girls night out in Portland

Mentors and mentorees

One Voice

Love and miss them!

Lets make new memories in Denver!

Attitude

The past six weeks have been tough on a number of levels.  Recovery has been really time consuming and when we are in school for 6-8 hours a day, it makes the days shorter.  I am beyond ready to be walking at this point (six weeks on crutches with at least three more to go) and be done with these crutches. This week I was given the go to put weight on my knee which has felt good so far, but it is painfully clear that I still have a long way to go.

I believe that you either control your attitude or it controls you

Aside from the day in and day out of dealing with recovery, I have found my attitude ebbs and flows almost as much as the pain does.  When this happens, its like an out of body experience where I can see myself being impatient, frustrated and short, but cannot do anything about it.  It is as if my attitude is controlling me instead of the other way around.

I understand that I am dealing with a lot... the demands of school, disrupted sleep, inability to focus, pain, immobility, etc., but I still feel as though I should be able to control my attitude.  It is up to me to choose how I react to situations.  I am figuring out what affects my attitude the most and working on ways to control it before it controls me.  Easier said then done ;)

On Thursday, an amazing friend from Portland is coming to visit!  Its kind of a crazy time in our school schedule, but I am so excited to see her and spend time doing nothing but drinking wine and reading cosmo :) It will be refreshing to have her here and show her my life in Denver.  I feel like she couldnt be coming at a better time! 

A missing friend that I miss...

I believe that we don’t have to change friends, if we understand that friends change...


There is this friend... that I miss very much.  He played a very profound role in my life and unfortunately through a series of circumstances, we have stopped talking altogether. 


I write this blog, only to share how much I miss this friend.  The memories I have shared with him are endless and the even though more and more time passes with no new memories, those that we have shared together, have not faded.  


This friend, now a man, has a new life.  A life that I know very little about.  The irony is... I never knew how much not knowing would kill me.  You see, I used to know this man very well.  I knew the way he worked, could predict how he would react to things, to people, to life.  And he knew me... he knew me in ways I did not always know myself.  He provided depth and insight into my life.  


We took a step of faith about a year and a half ago.  We decided that the best thing for us was to allow "silence and distance" to mend what had become broken between us.  And as the days have past, that silence has only grown louder.  The physical distance between us spans international boarders which makes the figurative distance only seem further.


I do not know if this friend reads my blog... chances are, probably not.  But I did not write this for him... I am writing this for me.  For today, I miss him more than I can express into words.  I miss the way he smells.  The way he embraces me with a hug that lasts longer than 15 seconds.  I miss his genuine smile and his inquisitive eyes.  I miss the long summers we shared and all the city adventures we had around the country. 


So until we decide the silence has mended what was broken, I will feel this ache in my heart for this friend.  I have prayed countless times that the step of faith we took together would bring healing to our friendship.  I believe we have share too much and come too far to give up on us.


Until we meet again...