Reflections of a month gone by

It is the last day of November and I can honestly say I did not think I would be able to blog every day!  But, I did and surprisingly, have really enjoyed the process of writing every day.  Though I have not always known what to write about and have thought the quality of my writing has suffered because of the pressure of writing every day, I feel that it was overall a great experience and one that I would consider doing again! So, with today being the last day of the month, I thought I would wrap up with a little reflection as to what it has been like to write every day and a little of what I learn as a result.

*I learned that I do have the time to write every day and that it is actually quite therapeutic.

*I learned that I do not always have to write something profound... that a journey through the events of my day or a random list can be just as entertaining to read (if not more so).

*I learned that it has been very helpful to write out my thoughts, as it seems to validate them if nothing else.  Its been a really long month full of challenges and adversities and it has been very helpful for my own processing to write out why I feel a certain way.

*I have learned that I am not alone in may of the struggles that I have.  By being brave enough to admit my faults, I have found many people also deal with the same struggles and fears.

*I have learned it is really fun to go back through the month and see how my thoughts have evolved (or havent).

*I have learned it is not always the about the quality of how I write my thoughts/feelings, but just by writing them, I acknowledge they exist and then can decide what to do with them.

*I have learned some of my favorite blogs to go back and read are those comprised solely of lists!

This month has had its share of ups and downs and provided plenty of subject matter to write about.  But, my biggest challenge was knowing at what detail to talk about situations or life lessons learned.  This blog is not exclusively private, but I believe those who read it, are my closest friends and those most interested in the day in and day out of my life.  Regardless, this is still an expression of my thoughts, broadcasted on the internet.  So, it has been difficult to know what should be said and what can be left to be inferred.  Overall, this month has been a very positive experience for me and has allowed me to develop better writing skills, express my thoughts and feelings and given me a place to write and chronicle my journey through the past month. I will try to write more often, though it might be a month or two before I take on another challenge!

 I hope you enjoyed the journey!

Home Part 2

Home with all the snow!

Back in Denver... where there is no snow, but it is plenty cold!  Though its good to be back, I miss being home!  This is funny, because if you read my blog about home, I have always had trouble being home.  But this time around it was different.  Maybe it is because I had written a blog about how being home is usually somewhat difficult and awkward?  Maybe it is because I didnt really leave my house the entire Thanksgiving break (since it was so cold and being on crutches in the snow suck)?  Or maybe, just maybe, I decided it was time to accept home for what it is... a beautiful place that provided me the foundation to become the person I have become.  That all being said, I should clarify, when I refer to home, I generally mean Kalispell Montana.  Not necessarily my parent's house.  I love my parent's house and feel as though it is a respite for my soul after months of slaving away at school or work.

This break I spent copious amounts of time reading curled up on the couch drinking coffee and hot tea.  This break, I decided not to think about school or worry about my knee.  This break, I watched more football than I thought possible and loved every minute of it!  This break was all about spending some much needed down time, relaxing and being with people I love.  I didnt have time to worry about the awkwardness.  I didnt have time to feel uncomfortable when I ran into someone I knew a lifetime ago.

Instead, I enjoyed the things that matter to me most- being with family, eating good food, reading, sleeping, making lefsa.  And though I still do not have an answer to why I get that awkward/uncomfortable feeling when I am home, I know that home is a beautiful place to be from.  And I enjoyed every minute of it.

Conflict

I have been flying through Don's new book and absolutely loving it.  Hard at this point to know where to rank it... but it fits right up there with Blue Like Jazz and Searching for God Knows What.  But, it is an entirely different type of book than the two I just mentioned.  This book is all about living your story.  You know, the story God is allowing you to help write?  Its not a book about simply telling your story or writing it, but really living it.

One of the parts that has got me thinking was when Don was talking about stories being told in conflict.  The great stories are those that the character (most likely an underdog in life) encounters immense conflict, but somehow finds his way and ends up conquering the conflict.  Those are the stories we remember.  Those are the stories we are inspired by. He goes on to say that though those stories move us, we are unwilling to recognize the potential greatness of the story we are in.  We see God as an unjust/unfair character, but really, he is the master storyteller hard at work.

Naturally, this got me thinking about my story.  And, to be perfectly honest, I am guilty of viewing God as an unfair character from time to time.  Life has been rough lately and I feel like I have been thrown through the mud once or twice these past few months and sometimes its hard to see beyond the next curve in the road.  But, it stands to reason, that my life might just be in conflict (at the present time) and this is just one chapter that God is masterfully writing to be included in the novel that is my life.

You see, its the conflicts in your life that allow you to be able to relate to others.  If life was easy, perfect and smooth, we wouldn't need God.  We could easily become complacent and forget the value of a loving God.  And I believe when my life is not in conflict, I default to this mechanism.  It becomes easy to start my day without God and end it falling asleep before my prayers begin.  But, when in conflict, it seems like God is reminding me subtly, that I do need Him and most importantly, that He is there to be needed.

I am excited to read the rest of this book.  I feel like I am in a season where I am learning to live my story instead of standing back and watching it be written.

Frigid Weather = book by the fire, warm coffee and rosetta stone

I have finally obtained the newest Donald Miller book A Million Miles in Ten Thousand Years!!  I am so excited to read it as I have heard so many good things about the book!  I read through the first few chapters today and it was very hard to put it down.  I am sure I will write about things I love in the book.

Today the high in Kalispell was 6 degrees, but I do not think I saw it get above 0 in the few times I saw the thermometer in our house.  So today was a perfect day to sit on my couch and curl up with the new book.  I also got started with Rosetta Stone!  I am so in love with the program and have flown through the first unit in level 1.  The best thing about the program is the live lessons with native speakers.  I have done three lessons today and one yesterday.  Its hard and challenging and forces me to use every facet of the language.  I know it will be hard to keep up while in school, but it is one of my life goals to be fluent in Spanish.

Being home has been great.  I got to talk to my brother today and I was reminded how much I miss my whole family being together.  This past May, Lydia and Burk came home when I was home for break between semesters and it was one of my favorite trips back home.  As much as I love living in a big city and traveling all over the world/States, there is nothing like being home with my family.  So tomorrow when we are making lefsa and turkey, I will be thinking about the two missing family members and how much I love and miss them!  Though, I thought it was funny since Burk isnt home, we didnt even buy a pumpkin pie :)

Happy early Thanksgiving everyone!

no guarantee

On my wall in my bedroom at my parent's house are reminders of a life that seems so long ago.  One wall displays my achievements in sports and high school academics.  There are two framed articles from the newspaper during my senior year that feature my picture from basketball games played years ago.  Inscribed inside the frame are these words "Jyndia, GREAT GAME! May God continue to bless you each day! -Mr. Hashley".  That particular article is from a game we played against Libby, a small western Montanan city north of Kalispell.  That was the game we honored Jennica.  A friend.  A teammate. A competitor.

Jennica's life was taken in an auto vs. semi accident months before this game.  She played for the team we were playing against that particular night.  Jennica was a teammate of mine on an AAU team that travelled much of WA, ID and MT; playing some of the best players in those respective states.  On the night of that game, our high school team honored her life by wearing a black patch on our uniforms with her jersey number in white.  A life taken far too soon.

A few months later, while competing at the State Basketball tournament, another friend's life was taken too soon in a drunk driving accident.  A beautiful friend and college freshman, Lindsey Elgas, was the victim of this accident.  Within five months, two lives close to me were taken.  It was in that moment as a senior in high school, naive to the world, realized my own mortality.

Mortality is such an interesting concept.  We spend our entire lives building up to the moment in which our own mortality is taken.  We work. We learn. We love. We grow. Until we die.  And it is that time we are given in which we must make our impact on this world.

I often think about these two girls (and a few other friends whom I have lost along the way) and wonder what they would be doing with their lives today.  Where would they live?  What would their chosen profession be?  Would they be married?  These girls left a lasting impression on my life and though their lives were cut short, they both were incredible young women.

When I was at the hospital today getting blood drawn, I was again reminded of my own mortality.  There is no guarantee how many years we have on this earth. The only guarantee we have is God is in control and his love for us never fails.  I am slowly and painfully learning this truth (and learning to trust this truth) and beginning to find comfort in its promise.  I have a responsibility to live my life fully each day.  Because there is no guarantee for tomorrow.  Therefore, it is today that matters- tomorrow will take care of itself.

Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. 2 Corinthians 4:16-18

Missed day :S

I missed a day of blogging!!!  Yesterday was crazy!  The morning started out busy and the day just got busier.  I had physical therapy in the morning and then headed to school to take an exam in spinal cord injury rehabilitation.  The exam was one of those that you walk out of and wonder how it went.  We will see...  Then I had a fantastic lunch with Tracy and Katie- it was so nice just to shoot the breeze and hang out for once.  Plus, at that point I was one class away from being able to go home :)

After class, Camille and I looked at some old neuro tests since our exams are cumulative for all the neuro courses we have taken.  Then we headed to the airport.  Once getting through security, we found out my flight was delayed two hours and so was Camille's.  Seattle got hit by a big snow storm, so when it was all said and done, Camille's flight left at 11:40pm! My flight landed in a blizzard, so I was thankful when I was on the ground and in my own bed :)

Then today I ran around town for doctors appointments and running errands.  Its been hovering around 10 degrees with a windchill factor of negative something.  Montana is beautiful, but it is brutally cold.

I am glad I am home and loving life.  I plan on relaxing, watching copious amounts of TV and eating as much lefsa as possible :)

Home

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Lately I have been thinking about how needed it is for me to go home and how this break cannot come at a better time.  But, then I think about MT and some times there are negative connotations that come to mind.  Allow me to explain...

For some reason, I have always felt like once I graduated high school, it was my turn to get out of Montana and live my life.  This included but was not limited to: going to college, graduating college, falling in love, falling out of love, moving across the country, moving back across the country, applying to graduate school, interviewing for graduated school, getting accepted to graduate school, moving for graduate school, attending graduate school, etc.  In the nearly 8 years since I graduated high school (insert gasp as I remember how old I am), I have never felt 100% comfortable when I am home.  Allow me to explain...

There are those people who have never left my home town... you know the type.  The ones that never graduated high school, or graduated, but did not go to college.  Or, those that went to one of the state schools, but was home every other weekend.  Then there are those that come back home and live with their parents...  for whatever reason.  These people have always represented what I did not want.  I did not want to be someone who didnt leave.  I never wanted to be associated with those that chose not to apply themselves.  I wanted to be known as someone who has gone outside of my comfort zone, grabbed the world by the balls and conquered it!  Before I move on, it is important for me to explain there is nothing wrong with the above mentioned people.  I think everyone's circumstance should go without judgement.  Its just not what I wanted for my life.

And even though the longest I have lived at home was the summer before my first and second year of college, I still get uncomfortable being home.  When I see people in town and they ask me if I moved back, I always get all awkward.  The thing is, home should be somewhere I love going.  It is one of the most beautiful places on earth.  My parent's house is one of the most comfortable places to relax and just be.  My friend's all have awesome families who I love spending time with.  So why do I feel this way about going home?

I dont know the answers to some of these questions, but I will continue to explore these thoughts.  Maybe over this break I will reach some conclusions...

twenty-six

Twenty six years ago today I was born...

Hard to believe I am already twenty-six!  Today was a perfect day with perfect friends.  Its always hard to spend your birthday away from home, but I dont think it could have been a better day!

Here is a list of twenty-six things I have learned in twenty-six years!

1. No matter where I live, I will always be a country girl at heart
2. My family is always there for me
3. Life is hard sometimes
4. Friends come and go, but each person has left a lasting an impression on me and I am thankful for that
5. Falling in love is one of the biggest risks I will ever take
6. New York City will always be a place where I feel most comfortable
7. My favorite holiday is Christmas because it is usually too cold to do anything outside, which is an excellent excuse to play games, drink wine and watch movies with people I love
8. Macs are way better than PCs :)
9. People who claim to be altruistic are usually insecure about their role in life.  Its the people who serve others without expectations that are truly altruistic
10. C.S. Lewis might be the greatest writer of all time
11. Feelings exist for a reason... crying, love, joy, anger- these make us human
12. Uncertainty and anxiety are products of fear and they should be recognized as such
13. I have more things than I will ever need and yet there is always a need for more things...
14. The best nights I have had are shared with friends, a glass of wine and watching the sun set
15. I will never be too old to build snow forts and have snow ball fights
16. Even though I take a lot of pictures, I always wish I would have taken more
17. Scrabble is one of the best games to unite generations
18. I will be a very lucky girl if I can marry my best friend
19. Being a performance junkie and perfectionist does not get you very far in life
20. Humans have done some pretty bad things throughout history, but they have also done some pretty amazing things.  History does not need to repeat itself
21. Its okay to get angry at God, he can take it
22. Imagination is powerful
23. If we are not living in the moment, what are we living for?
24. It is never worth it to settle
25. I have made a lot of mistakes and I will make a lot more in my life
26. Faith and trust are some of the hardest things to integrate into a life, but once done, it can be more rewarding than ever imagined

Friends, Harry Potter and Bull N Bush

Tonight was exactly what I needed.  Actually, all of today was perfect.  My dad and I went to Snooze this morning for a pre-bday breakfast since he will be leaving to go back to MT early tomorrow morning.  I am getting my appetite back slowly, so it was a good time to go to one of my favorite restaurants in Denver.  Then we went to REI and I picked out some awesome slippers and gloves for my birthday.  I love going to REI and of course love when I can leave with some product in my hand :)

My new slippers

Then we went to get my vascular studies completed.  Since I have been having trouble healing from the initial surgery, the doctor thought maybe I had some vascular insufficiency.  But, it turns out I am completely normal except my dorsalis pedis artery runs about 2 inches lateral on my foot than where it should!  Fascinating, but did not point us in any direction as to why I am not healing.


From there, we came back to my house and hung out for a bit and then Emily and Brian picked me up to go to happy hour at seven30south.  We met Jackie, Maggie, Emily and Camille there and had an awesome time!  I think we laughed harder than I have in a while.  That is where I had an awesome beer by Bull N Bush... it was a brown ale, which I do not normally like.  But Emily told me it was amazing, so I went with it!

Then...  HARRY POTTER!!!  We added Kristen and Tracy to our group for the movie, which made it an all around perfect mix of my friends here in Denver. Did I mention we saw it on IMAX?  Because it was pretty much amazing and I cannot remember the last IMAX movie I have seen.  Anyways, great movie!  Go see it if you havent already.

After the movie we came home and I packed all my things for Thanksgiving break so my dad can take them back with him tomorrow and I wont have to pay for the baggage fee or deal with it at the airport on Monday.  I am so thankful I am going home.  Need this break possibly more than I have needed any other break in my life.  I am looking forward to home time with my parents and no obligations.  Lots of movies and good food!

What this blog lacks in insight and creativity I will make up in future blogs! :)

showering

I dont feel much like writing... but I saw this and thought it was funny!  So how do you shower?!

No day but today

Today has been rough... more details to come later.  Today has been a day of learning to trust.  And tonight I am learning to have faith.  Tonight my mind is clouded with emotions, thoughts and prayers.  So, tonight, I just want to blog the lyrics of a song from RENT.

The heart may freeze

Or it can burn

The pain will ease

If I can learn

There is no future

There is no past

I live this moment

As my last

There's only us

There's only this

Forget regret

Or life is yours to miss

No other road

No other way

No day but today

The God of Second Chances...

Michael Vick- Last nights game vs Redskins

Last night, Michael Vick went off against the Redskins during the Monday Night Football game.  And by "went off", he completed 20/28 passes for 333 yards, scored 4 touchdowns via pass, ran for 80 yards and scored two rushing touchdowns.  WOW!  It is no question that Vick is a phenomenal athlete, but what about his character?

It was just three years ago that Vick was arrested for his role in engaging in competitive dogfighting.  Three years ago, everyone had an opinion of Michael Vick and chances are, they were not positive.


However, watching the game last night, all I could think about was how amazing it was for the coach of the Philadelphia Eagles to give Vick a second chance. Last year, the Eagles picked up Vick (despite having a vary talented quarterback) and gave him a second chance at life.  The Eagles took a huge PR hit when the signed Vick, but I respected their coach for his decision then and support him still today.

You see, it became very clear to me last night, that we serve a God of second chances.  A God that gives us more than enough second chances when we decide to burry ourselves in life.  I am very thankful for that.  I do not know one single human who would repeatedly give me the kind of second chances that God has.  And that is why he is God.  His love for us very marginal and imperfect human beings, is unfathomable and truly the greatest gift I have ever been given.

Short blog tonight, but this has been on my mind the past couple of days and then while watching MNF last night, it all came together.  I want to be someone who offers people a second chance at life, at relationships, at friendships, etc.  Eagles head coach Andy Reid gave Michael Vick his second chance at life and I know it has made a big impact on people outside of those directly involved.  I am blessed to serve a God of second chances and hope to provide that to someone else at some point in my life.

But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved.  ~Ephesians 2:4-5

Half way...

I am about half way through November and have successfully blogged every day.  I can honestly say I did not think I would make it and I am somewhat surprised I still have things to write about :)  That being said, I am running out of ideas of what to write.  I also feel like the quality of my writing has been victim to the pressure of blogging every day.  However, I have thoroughly enjoyed finding alone time in my extremely busy days to write out thoughts, dreams, lists, qualms, etc.  This challenge has shown me that I am not as busy as I think I am and there is always time to take a break and enjoy silence and the click, click, click of my keyboard.

Glacier Park- Winter 2010

Tonight I want to write about how excited I am to go home in exactly one week from today.  This semester has been intense, frustrating and at times seemed like all forces were against me.  I am ready to get out of here and escape home where I can just be.  Where I have no obligations to be anywhere and have a full week to rest and recover from this most recent surgery.  I am looking forward to the familiar when it seems like everything lately has be unfamiliar.  Family time, playing games and watching movies will be the perfect prescription for my soul.  I know I live in the foothills of the Rockies, but there is nothing that compares fresh Montana mountain air.


This week is insane!  Full of papers, assignments, tests and presentations... but I know if I just take one step at a time, Monday will be here before I know it.

Glacier National Park- A good place to call home :)

Let me know if there is anything you think I should write about or things I have written about in the past that have been interesting to read.  I am loving this month's challenge, but it is hard to come up with interesting things to compose!  Have a great night!

Study Music

We are getting to that time in the semester where studying is second only to sleeping... (questionably third if you add eating, but that almost seems like a waste of time).  When long hours are logged studying, there is only one way to make it through to the other side.  And that is Music!

I have been in search of new music that will help the hours pass by quickly, yet effectively.  Here are my top 10 artists that I listen to when I am studying.

1). Lady Antebellum
2). Missy Higgins
3). Kate Rusby
4). Lady Gaga
5). Zac Brown Band
6). Carrie Underwood
7). Dave Matthews
8). Jack Johnson
9).  Mark Knopfler
10). Nickel Creek

I have realized folk music has this soothing effect on my soul while allowing my brain to continue churning.  Pandora mixes with Missy Higgins, Kate Rusby and Nickel Creek have been amazing!  Let me know if you have any additional music that would aid in my studying efforts!

Dream Big

Dream Big-Video

This song is one of those songs that always takes me back to a place in my life where I doubted myself and thought I wasnt going to make it through undergrad.  Its somewhat funny to think of that now... now that I am halfway through a graduate program on my way to getting a doctorate.  But, nevertheless, this song is one of those that is packed full of lyrics that make you want to change the world, or at the very least, your life.  Enjoy

"When you laugh be sure to laugh out loud

'Cause it will carry all your cares away

And when you see, see the beauty all around and in yourself

And it'll help you feel okay

And when you pray, pray for strength

To help you carry on

When the troubles come your way"

Rosetta Stone!

I bought Rosetta Stone tonight!  I have been wanting to get it forever, but it was so darn expensive.  It is one of my life long goals to speak fluently in Spanish (especially to my patients).  I started using this program at school and got through most of level 1 fairly quickly, so I am hoping I will pick up the rest as I go.  Also, my friend Emily got the program, which will be really nice because then we can practice with each other.

I have 6 more days of class before thanksgiving break and then just a couple short weeks after that and I am off to NYC and then onto Europe.  I am hoping and praying that I can get after it with rehabbing my knee. These past two days have been a roller-coaster, but I am ready to push forward.

Short blog tonight because I am so sleepy!  I promise something profound in the next couple of blogs ;)

to be thankful

First of all, my surgery went well this morning and though I am in a lot of pain right now, I really think this will help speed things up.

But that is not what this blog is for.  This blog entry going to be used to remind me of how much I have to be thankful for.  Here is the list:

*I have an awesome family that has been so supportive of this whole journey
*I have friends that know me better than I know myself and have offered prayers, happy thoughts and verses, which has been the most helpful in reinforcing the concept of hope
*I get to spend time with my bff Alison in New York (in one month) and again for New Years
*I get to go to Europe for Christmas and spend time exploring countries with Burk and Lydia and Mom and Dad
*I live in an great townhouse that I love in Denver with the best roommate I could ever ask for
*I have amazing classmates that have also been very supportive along the way and are willing to take me anywhere I need to go since I still cannot drive

This is just a short list, but I think I hit the major things I am thankful for.  When I am down, it is really easy to lose sight of all the things I have going for me.  It is easy to lose perspective, so this list will be one that I can continue to come back to and reread. And, like one of my friends has said a few times, even though she cant be here, there is someone much better who is here with me and I know He can protect me and heal me.  And I am thankful for that!

The Fall...

I have been working my way through Searching for God Knows What and truly believe it is my favorite Donald Miller book.  I used to think I loved Blue Like Jazz more, but I think thats just because it was my first Donald experience.  I know its not a coincidence, but it is amazing how my life is paralleling aspects of this book.  The past week I have been really trying to guard my thoughts and see people that normally bother me, in a new light.  I can be a very critical person (of myself and others) and some times this can be a very constructive thing, but often it is destructive.  And I think I finally understand what is at the root of it...

"The thing that defines human personalities is that they are constantly comparing themselves to one another" - Donald Miller

All my life, I have compared myself to someone whom I admire or look up to.  At first glance, this seems like a healthy habit and should fuel honorable actions and goals to work towards.  It is no secret that this act of comparing ones self to another drives American culture.  It is the source of social development, emotional health and unfortunately responsible for some of life's greatest tragedies.

And it is a direct result of the fall.

We are imperfect people living in a completely imperfect world.  It is strange how often I forget about that.  As a direct result of the fall, we are wired so that something outside of ourselves needs to tell us who we are.  It used to be that God could provide this security and provision, but the fall changed everything.  I have more thoughts on all of this, but they will have to wait for another day.

To be continued...

Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people.

Eleanor Roosevelt

Legacy...

It is not a secret that I have been struggling with my knee and the fallout that comes from the limitations I am facing... and I am sorry if you are tired of hearing about it, but I believe God is really working in my life right now through all of this pain and uncertainty.

Last night, after a particularly trying day, a friend asked me what I wanted my legacy to be about.  I didnt really understand the question because I do not feel as though I am in a position to leave a legacy nor am I on the brink of dying in which a legacy would be required.  So, he rephrased.  "When all is said and done with your knee and things are operating as normal, what do you want to look back on and remember about this time?"

I told him I did not know and asking such a question is rude when it is clear that I am in the midst of the struggle.  What good is it going to be to think about how I want to look back and view this time in my life. But, as I was drifting off to bed, I thought more about what he said and this is what I have come up with:

*I want to remember this time as a time that I truly relied on God to get me through.
*I want to know I was fully committed to a relationship with Him.
*I want to remember that all my doubts regarding spirituality prior to this period of struggle seemed to work themselves out- or at least they seem less problematic
*I want to remember this period of time as one that I placed God at the center of my life and have not looked back since
*I want to remember this time as one where I asked God for healing and peace and my overactive mind was simply calmed (because I asked and he provided)
*I want to remember this time as one where I got to know Jesus again and was reminded that he knows my suffering because he had nails drilled into his body to save my life
*I want to remember this time as one where I stopped trying to control my life and instead allowed God to work in ways I cannot yet imagine

There are so many things that I hope to remember when this is all said and done and I am healthy again.  I remember my brother telling me one of the most important things I can control is how I react to situations.  I cannot always control the situation, but my reaction is completely within what I can control.  I am having surgery again on Thursday because my doctor believes there is too much scar tissue built up and that is what is limiting my range of motion.  There are a lot of factors that are contributing to stress and anxiety but I am trying to let go and allow God to work in my life.

Easier said than done...

A picture I borrowed from Jenna Kempf- Beautiful fall in Colorado!

Circle Journey

The Circle Journey

Today has been a long and productive day... Tonight, after I got done studying, I decided to flip through one of the most amazing birthday presents I have ever been given.  One of my dear friends and I completed a "circle journey" together and in it is the contents of our lives over the course of two years.  It is amazing to see all of the things we did in those two years... the places we visited, the memories we made.  During the course of the journal, I lived in three different states and traveled to over fifteen.  Raynelle and I both traveled to Europe within the course of the journal... we lived on opposite sides of the United States during the course of the journal and we both lived in Portland together at one point during the journal's circulation.

We shared our biggest fears, our life lessons learned and our grandest dreams for the future.  We embarked on an adventure to capture growth, uncertainty and friendship through pictures, words and drawings.  In short, this journal has the contents of some of the most influential times of our lives within its pages.

One of my favorite pages from the journal

When I was reading through it tonight, I noticed an amazing quote that is just as applicable to my life now as it was on February 23rd, 2008.  It reads:

"It is always the simple things that change our lives  And these things never happen when you are looking for them to happen.  Life will reveal answers at the pace life wishes to do so.  You feel like running, but life is on a stroll.  This is how God does things..."  Donald Miller

This quote was written during a very uncertain time in my life... I was facing adversity on all sides and felt as though life was just not going my way.  Very similar to how I have been feeling these past few months.  Its ironic, really.  That this quote was written over two years ago and yet I decided to read through the journal tonight and it was just as meaningful as it was back then.  Its almost as though life is coming full circle... its as if I was meant to be reminded of how God does things.  And how different his timing is than mine.  So, tonight, as I continue to read through our circle journey, I am reminded of God's perfect timing and will trust in His way.