Impersonalization

Recently, I had a birthday.  A day where we celebrate a person's life and appreciate them in various ways.  But this year, I was surprised how we, as a generation, have changed.  Allow me to explain.

Not to long ago, on your birthday, your phone would ring non-stop.  Parents, friends from home or college or random relatives that you only hear from once a year, were all calling you to wish you a happy birthday.  And the past few years, I have noticed the number of friends that elect to text or facebook message me on my birthday, greatly out number those that call.  Now, receiving all these well wishes via text is really not a problem and I am not complaining.  What I am saying is... we have impersonalized ourselves.  This year, some of my best friends left me fb messages instead of calling.  What is going on?!!?!

I feel like we are becoming more and more distant as a culture and have found the only way we can honestly express our feelings is when a computer screen (or phone) is between us and the person on the other end.  This is slightly concerning and yet seems to be becoming the norm.  I have dear friends, whom I have love to death, that prefer to have entire relationships via chat or text.  And really, that is not all that abnormal anymore.  Blogging and status updates have taken the place of coffee dates and long distance phone calls because it becomes easier to catch up on someone's life while multitasking at work or on lunch break.  Facebook, Twitter, MySpace, blackberries, iPods, iPads, iPhones, etc, they have all been created to connect people without requiring either person to open their mouths and communicate.  Fascinating... right?!

The ironic thing is, with all the social networking that has been created for our society, there is still a deep cavernous hole where people long to be known.  People long to be connected and accepted and validated.  These deep seeded emotional needs have not gone away in light of being reconnected with a high school buddy on facebook or by following Ashton Kutcher on twitter.  We still long to relate to someone else and find ourselves doing so by exchanging impersonal messages instead of calling that person or sitting across a coffee table for a heart to heart.

Since being on Christmas break, I have been able to catch up with some dear friends and have good long conversations where matters of the heart can be freely discussed.  And somewhere along the line, I realized how long it had been since I had talked to some of these friends.  It had been over months for some, weeks for others and though I remember feeling that "longing" to get in touch with these friends... I didnt.  And that left me wondering why they were not contacting me.  After-all, it is a two way street, right?!  And then I realized, they probably feel like they are in constant contact with me because they receive my blog updates directly to their inbox.  Every time I blog, it is like they get their fill of my life.  The update on what has been going on.  And yet, I feel empty because I do not hear back about their lives...

So that begs the question, do I quit blogging and resort to the traditional ways of communicating with my friends?  By picking of the phone and scrolling through my address book and calling them!?  Fascinating idea... right?!  Ugh, it makes me want to drive my head into the wall.  How have we become so passively impersonal and not noticed?  Or worse, noticed and found it too much effort to resist?  Dont get me wrong, I take full advantage of facebook and texting and find it convenient and sometimes a less threatening way of expressing my thoughts/feelings.  But recently, something has just rubbed me the wrong way and I am sick of the impersonalization our generation is creating.

Whew- I really needed to vent all of that.  Disclaimer: I had no specific person in mind when I wrote this... it is merely a reflection of my experience the past few years/months/weeks/days.  Maybe one of my resolutions this year will be to not suck at calling people :)  Because everyone loves when a best friend calls- even if its just to say hello.