The past few days I have been trying to tackle a book that I have wanted to read for a few months now. It’s called The Hole in our Gospel, written by Richard Stearns, who is the president of World Vision.
The reason this book has been so hard for me to start is because I truly hate “Christian-y” books. Most of the time, I feel like the chapters are full of unrealistic ideals and corny advice to live your life by. More often than not, it seems as though the author is writing the book solely to sell books, rather than to truly move people to change their lives. However, this book is different. There have been several times where I have had to stop, go back and reread passages because I feel like they are not-so-subtly “yelling” at me! Example:
The reason this book has been so hard for me to start is because I truly hate “Christian-y” books. Most of the time, I feel like the chapters are full of unrealistic ideals and corny advice to live your life by. More often than not, it seems as though the author is writing the book solely to sell books, rather than to truly move people to change their lives. However, this book is different. There have been several times where I have had to stop, go back and reread passages because I feel like they are not-so-subtly “yelling” at me! Example:
“Growth demands a temporary surrender of security” Gail Sheehy
The past few months, one of my best friends and myself have been on a journey to live life in the gray zones. "Gray Area" can easily be defined as those areas that involve far more insecurity than either of us would like to acknowledge. That area that is just outside the lines your mom told you to color within. The areas that make you feel uncomfortable, anxious and apprehensive. Yea, that’s the area where we have been trying to spend a little more time, in faith that we will experience personal growth. One question: Are we nuts?!
But, if growth demands a temporary surrender of security, then spending time in the gray areas is just the beginning of surrendering that security. Why is it that I insist to have a death-grip on uncertain situations, taking every measure to control my life?
I am slowly coming around to the idea of surrender… The notion of surrender implies a loss of control, which is equally terrifying and cathartic. But, if I am being honest, I am not sure I want to surrender control. I am not sure I want to live in the gray area. I am not sure I want to experience personal growth… Because if personal growth requires surrender and surrender implies relinquishing control, I am not sure if I am ready for that (though is sounds great in theory). And, thus the discord I experience daily between my heart and my head.
To be continued…
No comments:
Post a Comment