#17 Learning to take a compliment

As my internship wraps up at OHSU, I have received a few genuine compliments from patients and staff alike.  Today, I was finishing up with a patient and mentioned this was my last week.  She asked me if I had any plans for employment and I went through the general spiel "I would love to work here, but they are not hiring, but you never know, blah, blah, blah".  And then, she delivered the compliment... "Well, you know I have been working Marv (my CI) a long time and you are the best intern he has had.  You are the most confident, most knowledgable and have helped me more than any other.  It would do this institution well to hire you." Needless to say, I was blown away.  I was shocked of the kindness of her words.  I thanked her and proceeded to blush for the next 20 minutes.

When I was leaving Craig last January, a patient's father that I had been treating since October told me he only found out a few weeks previously that I was an intern.  He paid me the biggest compliment by stopping by Candy (PT director at Craig) and telling her they would be crazy not to hire me.  That his son had some of the best care at Craig because of my commitment to his progress and ultimately success. When he told me of their conversation, I was filled to the brim of emotions that do not have names.  I was awkward, of course, because receiving compliments well, is not something I pride myself as a strength.  But what I do know, when the conversation was said and done, I began to believe what he was saying to me. I began to trust his words and realize the potential that is within me.

This is on my list for a reason.  I am notorious for cutting myself down (most of which happens deep inside my mind).  I am known for discrediting the amount of work I have put into being a good great therapist. Typically, I try and talk the person who is offering a compliment, out of it, by all the other reasons why I am not as great as they are saying. But lets face it, I am great (woah, thats kind of intense just to type).  I deserve a great job doing what I love (a little less intense, but woah! Hard to type out).  And, I should be confident as a therapist, for I have worked very hard and I am smart (holy moly!).  Ridiculous how difficult it is for me to type that.  And yet, all day long I can dish out compliments or can give my girlfriends a hard time when they do not think highly enough about themselves.  Sheesh!

So I am working on this... it really should remain as an "in progress" until the end of the 1001 days because it truly may take me that long before I am able to genuinely say "thank you" rather than composing a list of reasons their opinion of me should differ. My real challenge will to believe their words.  Truly. Wholeheartedly. Believe.

Today I have an interview at OHSU for a position they do not have (technically), but one that they could create.  I have been strapped for time this week (likely due to my inability to prioritize my time) and have not had time to research how to interview in the professional world.  This is what I know.  I am great.  I am worth hiring for my skill as an entry level therapist.  I have extensive experience in treating neurological conditions (for an entry level therapist) and I have a lot offer to this team.  Interesting side note: the more I write, the easier more natural it is to think highly of myself. To think of myself in confident terms, worth while of investing in as an entry level therapist.  Now, I will be quick to admit I have much to learn, but as far as this interview goes, I am going to nail it! ;)  And hold my head up high regardless of the outcome!